A Place For Us
by orene treke
Summary: Sequel to Jack Twist's Legacy. More of life on Brokeback Ranch in Wyoming. Bobby and Ennis continue build up their ranch. Jackson and Mac begin to recover from their assault. Mother nature has some nasty surprises for them. SLASH between OCs.
1. Chapter 1

A PLACE FOR US.

A/N. This story is a sequel to "Jack Twist's Legacy." You really need to read that first. As with that story, some of the agricultural or other farming practices I describe might not sound right for Wyoming. Please don't flame me. I am a Kiwi writing this in New Zealand. I am hugely grateful to the good people at Google Earth. This has been an invaluable tool for researching the country around the Lightning Flat area.

Many thanks to my flatmate, Martin, who is also my beta reader.

A big heart felt thank you those who have been so kind with your reviews for "Jack Twist's Legacy". Especially to Kos - Mos607, Hussy, The Everlasting sugarquill and Saphobrazil. It has encouraged me to carry on with this sequel. I will post this one as I complete each chapter. Hopefully at least weekly.

Disclaimer. The world of "Brokeback Mountain" and the characters from there are the property of and the product of the genius of Annie Proulx. I only own my own original characters.

CHAPTER 1

Ennis Del Mar stood, hands on hips, basking in the late afternoon sun. Ennis was a solidly built and handsome cowboy of around 40 years old. He was standing on the roadside at the front entrance to Brokeback Ranch, which he owned in partnership with Bobby Twist.

He was admiring their new sign. They had had an enlarged version made of a sign Bobby and his two friends, Jackson and Mac had given to Ennis. The enlarged sign was now hanging proudly from a sturdy arch which spanned the front gate, proclaiming proudly to the world that this was "Brokeback Ranch".

There had been a great deal of discussion over where to mount it. Bobby was adamant it had to go on an arch. He was a Texan after all and that's where a good Texan rancher would have his property name displayed!

Ennis pointed out that they would have to build an arch as high as the Hoover Dam so that Bobby could get his combines underneath it. They had finally compromised by building an ordinary sized arch and installed a wide gate next to it for the combines and other heavy machinery.

Ennis had to admit it looked mighty fine. They had added a fanciful design for a brand mark of two capital Bs back to back. He was sure that Jack would approve and would be smiling down on him from where ever he was now.

As he turned toward his horse to ride back to the house, he heard a low rumble in the distance. It brought a small smile to his face. This was so late summer thunder storm brewing. Sure enough, as the noise grew louder, the huge bronze and white pick up truck called "The Mothership" came into site.

The big pick up belonged to Bobby Twist. He had inherited it from his daddy along with his half of "Brokeback Ranch". The other half of the ranch had been left to Ennis Del Mar.

Bobby's daddy, Jack Twist and Ennis had met while herding sheep on "Brokeback Mountain" back in the summer of 1963. During those long months together they had fallen in love. They continued their relationship for twenty years, despite both marrying and having families.

The relationship came to an end with the sudden death of Jack Twist.

Ennis smile spread right over his face as the big pick up pulled into gateway beside him and Bobby leaned out the window.

"Don't it look just great!" he enthused as his own features lit up with one of his super charmer smiles.

Bobby was a handsome young man of around 19 years old. He was tall and slim with startling blue eyes he inherited from his Daddy. His blond hair he inherited from his Mama, Lureen Newsome-Twist. The summer sun had bleached it even whiter.

He stepped out of the pick up to stand beside Ennis. As he did so an older man of around 60 years old climbed out of the passenger seat.

This man was Bobby's paternal Granddaddy, John Twist. He had the family blue eyes, but had the look of a man who had seen many hard years. He and his wife, Carol Twist, had originally owned the ranch, until Jack had bought it.

The boys had called it "Brokeback Ranch" in honor of Jack's dream of he and Ennis taking over the ranch together.

"I like it." the old man agreed. "It's about time the old place had itself a name. Jack sure did like that place, Brokeback Mountain."

The memories of the mountain and being there with Jack brought a deep sigh from Ennis. Bobby stepped up to him and draped an arm over his shoulder.

"Daddy would have loved it!" he assured Ennis.

Ennis thumbed away a small tear that had started to run down his cheek.

"Yeap. He surely would!"

Bobby gave his shoulder another squeeze.

"Come on. Let's get home and see what Grandma Twist is fixing for supper." he said as he headed back to the "mothership". John climbed back into the passenger seat. They waved to Ennis and with a throaty growl from the big V8 engine, they headed off up the drive.

Ennis waited for a second for the dust cloud to clear, then swung onto his horse and cantered off up the drive after them.

Later that evening, they were all in the kitchen helping Grandma Twist clean up after supper. Ennis turned from where had just finished stacking plates away in a dresser.

"How are Jackson and Mac doing?" he asked Bobby. Jackson and Mac were Bobby's age and his best friends. They also worked for he and Ennis. Jackson worked on Bobby's agricultural contracting business and Mac worked on the ranch with Ennis. They were gay and dating each other.

The boys had recently both been brutally beaten and left for dead by an old adversary of Ennis and Jack's called Joe Aguirre. Aguirre and some friends of his had been out to get Ennis and Bobby, but Jackson and Mac had got in the way. To make matters worse, Mac had been brutally raped as a warning to Ennis.

When the thugs had turned up at the ranch, Ennis had turned the tables on them and trapped them in the barn. A feat that was still being hailed as one of the best criminal captures in Wyoming history!

Bobby looked up from where he was drying cutlery and putting it away in a drawer.

"Jackson is actually doing real well. He's out most days driving one of the combines or hauling grain with one of the tractors. He gets a bit tired and sore but otherwise he's pretty good." He sighed deeply.

"It's Mac who worries us though. He can't bare to be on his own and hates being away from Jackson. He rides around on whatever machinery Jackson is driving to keep him close by. Or he sticks close to me. Physically he's healing well. It's what is going on in his head that worries me!"

"Well that's understandable after what that bastard Aguirre and those others did to him. But he can't go on bein' scared of everything"

"Those poor boys!" Grandma spoke up from the sink where she was just finishing washing up pots and pans.

"What harm were they doin' anybody. Being left there to die like that. I thank God you found them in time Bobby! I just wish somebody could have been there for your Daddy." she finished quietly.

Ennis and Bobby both gave her sharp looks. They both wondered how much she had known, or guessed, about Jack and his unconventional life. Did she also suspect that his death had been a result of a hate crime, not from an exploding tire as was officially believed. Ennis and Bobby both definitely suspected hate crime!

"Their parents are really worried about them traveling so far to work." Bobby observed.

"They love that Jackson and Mac work for us. They just worry about the boys being on their own that long. I guess because they were attacked while driving after all."

Grandma turned away from the sink while drying her hands on her apron.

"Why don't they come and live here with us?"

Ennis and Bobby both gaped at her.

"Are you serious Grandma?"

"Of course! Why not? They'd be safer here than in town where someone else might have a go at them. They wouldn't have to travel alone to work" she observed wisely.

Bobby looked at Ennis.

"That would be awesome!" he enthused. "What do you reckon Ennis?"

Ennis looked at Bobby's face which was lit up like bright summer field of wheat at the thought of having his friends living nearby. So like his Daddy when he got taken up with and idea. As usual it was going to be Ennis who would have to be the voice of reason. Not that he always disagreed. He had great respect for Bobby's ideas and opinions despite the boy's youth. He just worried that Bobby might be inclined to go off half cocked.

"Mmmmm. Well yeah, it would be great, if their parents agreed."

"I'm sure they would! Jackson's Daddy even said he wished he could find somewhere closer for them to live."

"Ok. Where would they live? The house is already kind of full with the four of us here already."

Bobby frowned for a second, then his face lit up again.

"We could convert part of the barn, or get a double wide moved on by the house here. I've still got some of Daddy's money left."

John Twist had come into the room while they were talking and sat down at the table. He had lent back in his chair with arms folded and followed the discussion quietly. At this point he had had chuckled quietly.

"Ennis you might as well agree now. You know the boy will have it all thought out three ways from Tuesday already. I reckon he put his Grandma up to suggesting it!"

"No he didn't old fool!" She gave him an affectionate swat from where she was now standing at his shoulder.

"I didn't Granddaddy!" Bobby exclaimed. "I wish I had though! I didn't know how to bring it up."

Ennis looked like he still believed he might have been stitched up by the Twists. He smiled as he affectionately watched Bobby. More and more he was feeling fiercely paternal to this son of Jack's. The boy had that look he got when he was excited about something. As though he might be about to burst any minute. He was almost vibrating on the spot with the tension building up waiting for Ennis' to answer.

He gave the old man a rueful look.

"I gotta try!" he grunted, then turned a wide smile on Bobby.

"It's ok Rob Bob. It's a great idea!"

Bobby beamed at Ennis' use of his Daddy's pet name from his childhood in Texas. He launched himself across the room and grabbed Ennis up into a tight bear hug. Ennis was glad he had remembered Jack talking about the boy affectionately as his "Rob Bob" over the years.

"Thanks Ennis!" Bobby said from somewhere around Ennis' ear.

"Ok then, Go make some calls before I change my mind"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N. This story is a sequel to "Jack Twist's Legacy." You really need to read that first. As with that story, some of the agricultural or other farming practices I describe might not sound right for Wyoming. Please don't flame me. I am a Kiwi writing this in New Zealand. I am hugely grateful to the good people at Google Earth. This has been an invaluable tool for researching the country around the Lightning Flat area.

Many thanks to my flatmate, Martin, who is also my beta reader.

Disclaimer. The world of "Brokeback Mountain" and the characters from there are the property of and the product of the genius of Annie Proulx. I only own my own original characters.

CHAPTER 2

With his usual charm and enthusiasm, Bobby had things humming within a matter of days.

He spoke to both boys parents. They were guardedly enthusiastic.

Once Bobby had described his ideas about housing, they began to warm to the idea. Especially when he told them there would probably be more than enough space for them all to stay over if they wanted to be near the boys. He understood this was still very to both boys and their families.

After some more phone calls Bobby located some accommodation which was absolutely ideal for their purposes. One of the local oil fields had some single mens accommodation which was surplus to requirements. It was made up of two double wides attached end to end and were built to look like log cabins which greatly appealed to Bobby. He figured once they were moved on site they could build a nice big porch across the front. After some dickering a price was agreed and the deal was on.

Once the buildings were on site, Jackson's daddy would set them up and sort out the construction of the porch and organize plumbers and electricians.

Ennis continued to be amazed by Bobby's ability network and wheel and deal. The charm was all his Daddy's. The rest he got from his Mama. Jack had always said she was the consummate business woman. The combination of both his parents characters made for a real mover and shaker!

Ennis had just returned from doing his rounds of the stock. As he rode into the yard, he saw Jackson's daddy, Dan Brunton, busy at work with some of his boys. They were preparing the foundations for the double wides.

Dan spied Ennis riding up. He straightened up, stretched his back and waved.

Ennis tipped his hat and rode over towards the builders. He dismounted smoothly and tethered his horse.

"Afternoon Dan."

"Ennis." they greeted each other and shook hands.

"How's Bobby's Palace comin' on?" Ennis asked as he surveyed the jumble of house piles and the holes being dug to take them.

"Probably better than it looks to you." Dan replied with a chuckle. "Should be more than ready for when the buildings arrive at the end of the week. Then it's just knocking them into shape!"

"You make it all sound so gosh darned easy! I'm having' nightmares."

"It's all pretty straight forward Ennis." the builder assured him with a smile. "These double wides get moved around all the time. The rest is just window dressing."

"I'll hold you to that promise!" Ennis chuckled.

"Ennis, Mary and the Du Champs and I really appreciate what you and Bobby are doing for our boys. They love their jobs here. It's going to be a load off our minds that they won't be traveling so far alone."

"Well, they're good boys Dan. Both of them! Y'all have become like family to us. Especially Bobby. We're only too pleased to help."

Dan Brunton nodded his understanding. He fidgeted a little, wanting to bring something up but not sure how. Ennis had got to know the man well enough to know what was going.

"Something on your mind Dan?"

Dan looked at him and smiled, grateful to not have to get the ball rolling

"Our boy is doing ok, but we're real worried about Mac. Burt and Melanie are at a loss to be honest. He's healing ok physically. It's the damage to his soul that has us all so worried!"

"Bobby said that as well. Is he seeing any doctors about it?"

"Yeah, he is. They all say the same thing. It's not surprising considering what happened. They say it's almost like he feels he failed somehow. Nobody can convince him otherwise."

"Seems like his spirit has been crushed, right?"

"That's a pretty sharp way to put it Ennis. He can't seem to do anything without Jackson close by. If Jackson's not round he sticks to Bobby like glue. He's got no self confidence no more!"

Ennis thought for a minute. Dan waited quietly. He had got to know Ennis as well as Ennis knew him. He knew that Ennis liked to think over something carefully before expressed his opinion. It was usually worth the wait.

"You know, it was a damn brave thing that Mac did. Taking on Joe Aguirre like that." He turned to look closely at Dan. "Most people would probably have high tailed it out of there and saved their own butts!"

Dan nodded, but didn't say anything, guessing Ennis had more to say.

"But he went for Aguirre to protect Jackson. Yeah he got messed up bad. But the way I see it, he took enough punishment that they laid off Jackson. Enough that Jackson was able to keep Mac alive until Bobby found them. I mean if they had both been that messed up, I don't think they would have survived!"

Ennis looked at Dan intently, waiting to see if the builder had got the point he was trying to make.

Dan finally chuckled and gave Ennis' shoulder a squeeze.

"You know Ennis Del Mar, you have a way of cutting through the crap and seeing the heart of the matter. That's the kind of thing Mac needs to hear. Not a whole lot of psycho babble. I think our Pastor has been trying to say something the same, but hasn't been having much luck getting through to him."

He paused, watching his workmen, while he collected his thoughts.

"I've said to you before that those two boys think the world of you and Bobby. I know that Mac in particular really looks up to you."

He looked at Ennis intently.

"Do you think you could talk with him?"

Ennis looked a little uncomfortable with the praise and started to mumble something about there must be someone better for that job. But then that whole paternal feeling he had for Bobby and his friends seemed to give him a sharp dig in his ribs. How could he not help?

"Of course I. Tell Burt and Melanie I'd be happy to try."

Dan grabbed his hand and shook it gratefully.

"Thank you so much Ennis."

"Is he up to riding a horse do you think?"

Dan nodded vaguely.

"I should think so. Might pay to double check with Emmett, but I don't see why not. You think it might help to get him working with the animals again."

"He does love horse riding and stock work. And maybe I could get to talk to him some."

"Bobby is bringing the boys back here tonight, so that they can travel home with me. How about we suggest it to Mac then?"

"Sure. But let's go easy. Don't want to freak him out none."

Ennis went off to the stable with his horse to get him settled for the night, while Dan started getting his men finished up for the day.

About half an hour later, a distant rumble from the drive heralded the imminent arrival of the "Mothership"

Bobby, Jackson and Mac piled out and seeing Dan, headed over to him while old John Twist strode off to the house muttering about something "Cold, wet and brown!".

Dan smiled as the boys approached, pulling his son into a one armed hug with his right arm and pulling Mac in with his left.

"Hey Jacko, hey Mac. How was your day?"

"Hey Daddy." Jackson smiled giving his Dad a squeeze back.

"Hey Mr B." Mac said quietly. He didn't pull away, but stayed tense under the man's arm.

"Hey Mr B." added Bobby standing in front of them with his hands jammed in his pockets. "Jackson harvested his best acreage yet today. I might have to start paying him soon." he said firing a sly look at Jackson.

Jackson snorted and leaped away from his Daddy to tackle Bobby. The boys went down in a heap on the ground with Jackson sitting astride Bobby's hips. He held his friend down while digging his fingers into Bobby's ribs setting him off into shrieks of laughter.

"NOOOO! NOOOO! SSSSSTOOOOOP!" he gasped between giggles.

"What's this you might pay me bullshit Twist? Hey" He kept on relentlessly finding more ticklish spots on his friends struggling body.

"Oh God! SSSSSTOOOOOP! You're gonna make me piss myself!!!"

Now Jackson got the giggles too, and when Jackson got the giggles he was totally helpless. He collapsed onto Bobby, then rolled off onto the ground. Both boys now prostrate on the ground and shaking with laughter.

Dan was laughing along with them, but carefully watched Mac out of the corner of his eye. He was relieved to see a smile there and a sparkle in his eye. He caught Dan's look and gave him a tentative smile, then a quick squeeze around the middle.

Dan's spirits lifted. He could see that moving the boys up here to Brokeback Ranch was going to be a good thing.

Ennis came ambling over to see what the commotion was about.

"What in tarnation are you boys up to now" he asked with a hint of humor.

"Oh... j..j..just some...w...wage...negotiations." Jackson managed to gasp out between giggles.

"I wonder if the bosses over at the oilfields have tried your methods?" he said with deep irony.

Bobby was trying to stand up but Jackson gave him another quick jab which sent Bobby off again which of course set Jackson off again too.

Ennis stepped over them and up to Mac giving him an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder.

"Good to see ya Mac. You're looking good."

Mac gave him a quick smile, then looked down at his feet.

Ennis' heart went out to the boy. Gone was the steady, level gaze that used to make Ennis feel so uncomfortable. All that was left was this guarded uncertainty.

"Do you feel up to getting back on a horse Mac?" Ennis asked quietly as he slipped an arm around the boys shoulder.

Dan wandered over to Jackson and Bobby to help the two boys back on their feet and to give Ennis some space with Mac.

Mac shrugged his shoulders in a non committal way, his eyes fixed on Jackson.

"I'm really missing your help here on the ranch. There's so many cows calved this year I don't know which way to turn next! Spark really misses you too."

Mac smiled at the mention of the horse he usually rode while on the ranch.

"Have you been to see him yet?"

Mac shook his head quietly.

"Not yet."

"Let's go and say howdy then shall we?" Ennis asked giving Mac's shoulder another squeeze.

"I'd like that" Mac said with a smile.

Bobby, Jackson and Dan watched Ennis and Mac walk off together towards the stables, Ennis' arm still draped over Mac's shoulders.

Dan draped his arms over the other two boys shoulders.

"You know Bobby, that Ennis Del Mar never fails to amaze me! Who would think there's a heart of gold under that crusty exterior?"

"I know Mr B. I know!"

Ennis and Mac walked around the stables to the horse paddock and leaned on the top rails of the fence. As if sensing Mac's presence, Spark, a black gelding with a small star on his forehead, put his head up and nickered. Seeing Mac at the fence, he trotted over. Ennis handed Mac some sugar he always managed to have handy.

Mac held his hand out to Spark who gently took the sugar lump from the boy's hand. The gentle touch of the horses soft lips to his hand almost brought tears to Mac's eyes.

Here was a being who would love him no matter what had happened. He suddenly realized how much he missed being out here on the ranch.

He leaned his head against the Spark's neck as he stroked his hand down to the horses shoulder.

Ennis waited quietly for Mac to speak first. Finally the boy lifted his head from the horse and gave Ennis a look that was something nearer to the one Ennis remembered.

"Yeah Ennis. I'd love to come back to work."

"Tomorrow morning then?"

Mac smiled.

"Yeah, tomorrow morning."

A/N There you go. A little male bonding and light fluffiness to set us up for some angst. What do you reckon?

Chapter 3 coming soon.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N. This story is a sequel to "Jack Twist's Legacy." You really need to read that first. As with that story, some of the agricultural or other farming practices I describe might not sound right for Wyoming. Please don't flame me. I am a Kiwi writing this in New Zealand. I am hugely grateful to the good people at Google Earth. This has been an invaluable tool for researching the country around the Lightning Flat area.

Many thanks to my flatmate, Martin, who is also my beta reader.

A big heart felt thank you those who have been so kind with your reviews for "Jack Twist's Legacy". Especially to Kos - Mos607, Hussy, The Everlasting sugarquill and Saphobrazil. It has encouraged me to carry on with this sequel. I will post this one as I complete each chapter. Hopefully at least weekly.

Disclaimer. The world of "Brokeback Mountain" and the characters from there are the property of and the product of the genius of Annie Proulx. I only own my own original characters.

CHAPTER 3

Jackson shifted his butt on the drivers seat of his combine to a more comfortable position, enjoying the vibration of the powerful machine thrumming through his frame. He found the sound and movement of the big combine to be very soothing, as it forged through the wheat crop. There was no denying it. Jackson loved operating the big machinery in the same way that Mac loved riding his horses. Jackson believed that each machine had it's own personality in the same way that horses did. Mac always chuckled when Jackson said this, but Jackson was sure he understood.

A sigh escaped Jackson's lips at the thought of his boyfriend. He loved Mac fiercely and it broke his heart to see the boy so hurt and there seemed there was nothing he could do to help.

He flexed his hand to relieve some cramping. An after effect of his own injuries.

Jackson knew his own mental scars would take a long time to heal. God knows he still had nightmares! At least now he wasn't waking _**every**_ night shaking and sweating, with his parents standing over him, woken again by his screaming.

Their pastor had, amongst other things, spent a lot of time talking about forgiveness. Jackson knew there was no way he could forgive Aguirre and the other three who had assaulted him and Mac. Especially what they had done to Mac!

He could see the point of moving on. Right now he was stewing on it all day and all night. It consumed his every waking and sleeping moment, making him angry and bitter. He could see how this would make him capable of violence equally as bad as had been done to him and Mac.

He knew too in his heart, that while he thought like this, that it wouldn't matter what punishment the courts handed out to Aguirre and his friends. No matter how harsh the penalties were, even if they were all sent to the electric chair, it still wouldn't take away this anger. This anger that gnawed away at his insides like cancer. An emotional cancer that would ruin his life as surely as a physical cancer.

When he looked at it from that point of view, he could understand what the pastor was trying to tell him. Perhaps some form of forgiveness was going to be necessary to be able to move forward.

He checked his position against Bobby's machine which was ahead and to his right. He didn't want to run up the back of the other combine. His frame shook with giggles when he imagined the look on Bobby's face when they ended up sitting on the same seat after his machine chewed up Bobby's.

He caught a movement out of the corner of his eye. Looking sideways out of the cab of his combine he saw Bobby's Granddaddy drawing level with him on one of their tractors, towing a grain hauler. He had just returned from unloading at the farm silos. Jackson checked the view windows in his grain bin to check the level of wheat in the bin. Perfect timing! He gave John the hand signal to show he needed to unload.

He watched as John eased the tractor into position so that the hauler was underneath the auger on Jackson's combine. Jackson threw the leaver to activate the auger and straight away felt the shuddering through his seat as the grain poured out into the hauler. When he felt the shuddering lessening, he looked into the bin again and saw that is was empty again. He shut off the auger and leaned out of the cab, giving John the thumbs up to show he had finished unloading.

John waved and gunned the tractor forward to catch up with Bobby and repeat the process.

Jackson settled himself back in his seat, scanning gages and checking the feel of the combine. Happy with how things were running, he moved his gaze forward to the cutting deck. He never tired of watching the combine in action. People were always saying he must go out of his mind with boredom. He just found the whole process fascinating and exciting. Watching as the wide width of the reel, turning like the paddle wheel on a river steamer, pulled the golden grain into the deck. The grain toppling over the cutters then pulled into the threshers under Jackson's seat and the straw finally falling in a long straight windrow behind. The definition of industry!

Despite Mac's respect for Jackson's machinery obsession, Jackson didn't think his boyfriend would share his fascination for the whole harvesting process. Again the thought of Mac brought a sigh to Jackson's lips.

Today would be the first day back at work for Mac. Jackson could only hope the closeness to the livestock and Ennis' gruff but gentle presence would begin to restore the boy's troubled soul.

XXX

Mac sat astride Spark, beside Ennis who was riding his own favorite horse, a mare called Cigar Butt. It was the third horse Ennis had owned in 20 years with that name. He had taken a fancy to the name when the horse he rode on Brokeback back in 63, with Jack, had been called Cigar Butt.

Ennis had been watching Mac, closely, but subtly, all day. There seemed to be a small lifting of the boy's spirits as they rode around the ranch checking stock and fences. However he still stayed withdrawn and quiet. His face pale. His eyes dark rimmed and somehow hurting. Ennis talked to him of inconsequential things. Asked his opinion on stock, pasture, the magnificent sky. Anything to try and get him to relax and maybe open up a little.

Mac stayed resolutely quiet. Not in a hostile way. In a guarded way, as though he was expecting bad news or a back handed blow any second. He seemed to be reflecting the closed in attitude with his clothes. His shirt and jacket were buttoned right to the top and the sleeves buttoned tight at his wrists. Ennis was starting to wonder if he should be looking out for heat stroke as well.

They were currently surveying a field of alfalfa, a fodder crop they were trialling. They were assessing whether it was ready for Bobby and Jackson to cut. They also discussed the relative merits of baling or putting it into silage.

Mac continued to answer mechanically, as though all his natural enthusiasm had been allowed to drain away.

Ennis sidled Cigar Butt up next to Spark so that he could talk more closely with Mac.

"How's it feel bein' back?" he asked quietly.

Mac looked sideways at him as though trying to judge what kind of response Ennis was looking for. Ennis just tipped his hat back and looked at Mac, letting the boy see the care and concern in his eyes. Mac couldn't meet that sincere look. He dropped his eyes and sighed audibly and fiddled with the reins.

"It's great being back Ennis. It's just..." his voice trailed off as though he had run out of energy to finish the sentence. He looked up helplessly at Ennis as his shoulders began to shake and tears began running down his cheeks.

Ennis took off his riding glove and gave Mac's neck a squeeze before leaving his hand reassuringly on the boy's shoulder. He still had a long way to go.

"I'm sorry Ennis. I...I...just can't..." again his voice trailed off as though he didn't have the will to go on.

"Come on son. Let's head back to the house. Jackson and Bobby will be back soon."

Mac reached up and gripped Ennis' arm and looked at him, his eyes pleading.

"Don't tell Jackson about this! Please!! He'll just think I'm pathetic." his eyes filled with tears again.

"No way Mac! There's no way Jackson would ever think that! None of us do!!"

"They should! Cos I am! I'm..." he swiped at the tears on his cheeks savagely "...useless."

He turned his horse and rode away towards the house. His shoulders had sagged in defeat.

"Jack darlin'. What are we going to do about this?" he whispered before swinging Cigar Butt around to follow.

XXX

It had been decided that the boys would stay that night on the farm so that they could have a special meal to celebrate Mac "getting back in the saddle". It was going to be a squeeze as the new accommodation wasn't yet ready. The three boys were all going to have to squeeze into Bobby's room. They would have liked to have their friend Maddie through too. She hadn't been able to get up from town, much to Bobby's disappointment.

After supper, the boys had been shooed out of the kitchen by Carol and John who declared they were going to do the cleaning up to get some peace and quiet.

Ennis and the boys moved through to the lounge to see if there was anything on tv. They found a channel showing a movie marathon so settled down to watch. Ennis and Bobby settled companionably on one sofa while Jackson and Mac settled on another.

Ennis watched Mac serrupticiously as they settled. He had been quiet through the meal, just picking at his food in a dispirited way. He didn't say a word while Jackson and Bobby skylarked beside him. He just flinched every time somebody spoke loudly. His shoulders clenched tighter and tighter.

Now that they were watching the movie he seemed to be winding himself tighter. His shoulders hunching and his head cringed down and to the side until he almost had an ear pressed to one shoulder. His knees were drawn right up to his chin. He had pulled the bottoms of his jeans up to expose the skin om his shins. Ennis could see from where he was sitting that Mac was gouging at his shins with his nails.

Jackson noticed the tension in his boyfriend but seemed at a loss as to how to help. He was watching Mac furtively. He put his arm carefully around the boys shoulder. Mac leaned into Jackson but still seemed wound tight. Finally he climbed out of the chair mumbling about going to the bathroom and left the room, hugging his arms around his chest.

Ennis looked at Jackson to see his eyes following Mac out of the room, a look of abject misery on his face.

Bobby was watching too. He and Ennis exchanged a look, both raising an eyebrow as if wondering if the other could come up with a suggestion.

John came in and sat himself down in his favorite arm chair and set about lighting a pipe. While seeming to concentrate on his pipe he was watching the others in the room from under his bushy eyebrows.

The tense quiet in the room was suddenly shattered by carol screaming from upstairs.

"OH MY GOD! SOME BODY GET UP HERE AND HELP ME QUICK!"

Every body leapt out of their chairs and bolted up the stairs. Carol was standing outside the bathroom, her hands clasped to face in horror.

Jackson and Bobby burst into the bathroom with Ennis right behind them and came skidding to a halt in horror at what they were seeing. Mac was curled up in a fetal position on the floor, whimpering quietly. His arms were clasped over his head and they were covered in blood.

As Jackson threw himself on the floor beside him, Mac wound himself tighter and started to scream.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N. This story is a sequel to "Jack Twist's Legacy." You really need to read that first. As with that story, some of the agricultural or other farming practices I describe might not sound right for Wyoming. Please don't flame me. I am a Kiwi writing this in New Zealand. I am hugely grateful to the good people at Google Earth. This has been an invaluable tool for researching the country around the Lightning Flat area.

Many thanks to my flatmate, Martin, who is also my beta reader.

A big heart felt thank you those who have been so kind with your reviews for "Jack Twist's Legacy". Especially to Kos - Mos607, Hussy, The Everlasting sugarquill and Saphobrazil. It has encouraged me to carry on with this sequel. I will post this one as I complete each chapter. Hopefully at least weekly.

Disclaimer. The world of "Brokeback Mountain" and the characters from there are the property of and the product of the genius of Annie Proulx. I only own my own original characters.

I'm afraid this chapter may get a little heavy, but I'm trying to get you all into Mac's head here.

CHAPTER 4

All that day the feeling had been growing inside Mac, the same as it had for months now. If asked to describe it he would have been at a loss. How do you describe this feeling of dread? This dead weight that sits in the center of your being and drags you down. There just isn't enough energy in the universe, let alone your own body, to fight against it.

You feel physically ill.

Nauseous!

The fear and anxiety!

Mac couldn't bring himself to start anything! That feeling of dread that had taken residence in his soul told him that anything he did was going to turn out wrong. He was no longer capable of doing anything right.

He was worthless!

Worthless!!

What Aguirre and those others had done to him reinforced that belief.

He was soiled! Dirty!

The doctors told him he was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, causing severe depression. They assured him he would get through it. He didn't believe them. He didn't believe there was any way he could ever escape this deep, dark hole. Ever feel happy again.

Jackson couldn't possibly love him now. Oh Mac wanted Jackson still to love him. With all that he had left of his soul he wanted that. Neither of them had ever been with anybody else. God knows enough girls at school had tried to lure them into bed. The two boys had pledged themselves to each other. They wanted their first time to be special! How could that ever be now that he had been used this way?

It didn't matter how he showered, groomed or changed clothes he just could not feel good about himself. He had completely given up on that.

Why bother?

He supposed that drugs or alcohol would bring him some relief. But something in him, maybe just his upbringing, wouldn't let him go that way.

He found out by accident that pain helped relieve the anxiety. The darkness in his head. He had cut his hand while making a sandwich. The sudden stinging flash of pain that shot through his body, took away the terrible feelings. Just for a minute! But for that one moment, Mac felt lifted. Elated.

He had tried it again later with the same result. He became addicted to that rush and started doing it more and more often. Cutting his arms where he could hide the damage under his sleeves. Or gouging at his skin with his nails if he couldn't get somewhere quiet to use a knife.

Unfortunately, after the rush of pain had passed, he collapsed into a desolate waist land of guilt over what he was doing, reinforcing the feelings of shame he was already feeling. He would crave the rush again and the cycle continued into a deep, downward spiral.

Mac desperately wanted someone to help. To take away these feelings. But he was too ashamed of what people would think of him. How people would judge him. Think he was weak. Especially as he was gay! They would say he deserved it!!

So instead of letting people see the harm he was doing to himself, he hid it away under layers of shirts and a veil of secrecy. It was like screaming for help while shutting yourself in a sound proof room so that nobody could hear you.

When Jackson was near him, or even Bobby or Ennis, he would desperately want them to touch him. Put there arms around him. Anything so that he could feel their love for him. But as soon as they came near, he would withdraw into himself. Flinch away. Fearing they would discover what he was doing to himself.

He hid it from the doctors too. He was desperately scared they would lock him away and fill him with drugs so that he would no longer know who he was. He knew in the core of his being that he would not be Mac anymore. He was too scared to take the anti depressant drugs the doctors prescribed him, Fearing their effects.

He was pleased he was staying at the ranch tonight, as going home made him feel worse still. He was aware of scrutiny from his parents which made him feel worse. He also felt unbearably guilty about what he was putting them through. He would end up shutting himself in his room or the bathroom and begin slicing at his arms.

Unfortunately, during supper, the blackness pressed down on Mac's shoulders and surrounded his head. He became hyper sensitive to noise. Anytime somebody spoke or a knife clattered on a plate, Mac would flinch. It was like somebody was battering at his head. He just wanted to get away. Block his ears! He was beginning to panic.

Shake.

Sweat.

He made it through supper and went through to the living room with the others. He sat on a sofa with Jackson, craving the other boy's arm around his shoulder, at the same time still terrified Jackson would find out his secret.

He could feel himself pulling into a tight knot, with his knees pulled up to his chin. His head was tilted to one side and his shoulders hunched so he could block his ear and protect himself from the unbearable barrage of noise. He clasped his hands around his ankles and pulled his feet in close to his butt and started gouging at the exposed skin of his ankles with his nails. He didn't want to look up as he couldn't bear to see if the others were watching him.

Jackson's arm slid carefully around his shoulder. Mac was filled with love for this special young man, but he felt deeply guilty about the secret he was hiding. The depression, shame and guilt became unbearable.

He had to get out of the room and hide. He needed more than his finger nails to fulfill his need.

He got up from under Jackson's arm, mumbled he was going to the bathroom and left the room, clasping his arms around his chest to try and contain the pressure inside him.

He shut the bathroom door behind himself and leaned against it for a second, panting rapidly. He knew what he craved. Knew it was wrong, but knew he wasn't going to be able to stop himself. He clasped his arms around his chest and stumbled across to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He was disgusted at what he saw.

Anybody else looking would still see a handsome young man. Troubled maybe, but still handsome. Mac only felt ashamed.

He felt in his pocket for the sharp pocket knife he always carried and flipped it open. He rolled up his shirt sleeves to expose his arms then pressed the blade to his skin. He hesitated for a couple of seconds to prolong the feeling then started to slice at his arm.

The relief was instantaneous, but not enough. He kept slicing, again and again, needing more and more relief. When that arm was a bloody mess, he changed arms and started on the other, blindly slicing more and more, working his way up his arm in hysteria. He didn't care about consequences. He could have been breaking a dozen laws. It was the last thing on his mind. He was completely driven by desperation.

It was only when the knife slipped out of his blood slicked hand that Mac was able to stop and see what he had done. He slipped straight into panic. There was blood everywhere! Running down his arms and dripping from his finger tips onto the bathroom floor. His arms were criss crossed with fresh cuts. He knew he would never be able to hide the damage this time.

Oh God there was so much blood!

Blackness was pushing into the edges of his vision. He was feeling nauseous and faint.

It hurt more than he could bare anymore!

He collapsed to his knees amongst his blood where it puddled on the floor and clasped his bleeding arms over his head and began keening.

Oh God! What had he done. He had gone too far this time. Cut too much, too deep. Maybe this time he would die!

Oh God, he didn't want to die! He couldn't do that to Jackson. To his parents. He didn't want them to find out his secret this way!

He went to stand up, but slipped in the blood on the floor and collapsed on his side and rolled into a tight foetal ball. His bloody arms clasped even tighter over his head. He began to shake violently, keening in the back of his throat.

He felt himself pulling away from the quaking bloody mess on the floor. Withdrawing from himself. This couldn't be happening!

He was in a black pit with a heavy trap door about to slam down and close him in. He kept trying to lift it off, but someone kept jumping on and pushing it back down. All the people who had ever made him feel ashamed of being gay were standing around and jumping on the hatch, looking self righteous and superior, forcing it back down on him. All the people who had made fun of him at school. Called him "Fairy Freak". They were all there. Aguirre and the other three who attacked him were there too. Laughing loudly and pushing down on the lid.

It slammed down on him. He rolled into himself and heard someone screaming.

"NOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOOOOO!!

He didn't know who was screaming, but the more they screamed the more pressure was being released from deep in his soul. He joined in the screaming. The anguish tearing the screams right up from his feet.

He wasn't aware he had left the door unlocked. Carol Twist was on her way past the bathroom to her room when she heard a faint whimpering coming from behind the door. She tried the door. Finding it unlocked, she cautiously opened it and peaked inside.

Her heart skipped several beats when she saw Mac, curled into a ball, covered in blood and making strange keening noises. She recoiled in shock and screamed for help.

"OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY GET UP HERE AND HELP ME QUICK!"

She heard the others pounding up the stairs. Jackson, Bobby and Ennis pushed past her into the bathroom as John folded his arms around her.

"Shit!" he exclaimed quietly when he saw Mac.

Jackson threw himself down beside Mac just as the boy started screaming. He broke down in sobs at the sight, panicking, not knowing what to do.

Bobby was right there with him and Ennis was on the floor behind Mac. He tentatively reached out and touched the boys shoulder which only seemed to make the boy scream louder. Ennis with drew his hand.

He reached over and took Jackson's hand.

"Speak to him Jackson. We need to get him back from where ever he's gone. He might respond to your voice."

Jackson looked at him, looking for reassurance. Ennis nodded. Bobby put his arm around Jackson's shoulder and squeezed to let him know he was there for him.

"I need to see his arms to see how bad he's cut." Ennis said quietly.

Jackson nodded. He shuffled tentatively closer and knelt by Mac's head, putting a hand on top of his hands where they were clasped over his head. Bobby stayed right with him. Holding him. Giving him strength.

"Mac! Hey Mac Mac." he began to croon, rubbing his thumb over Mac's hand.

"Mac Mac! Come back. I need you. I really need you! I love you and I need you to be here with me."

He was crying as he spoke but managed to keep speaking. His love for Mac keeping him going. All his feelings and need for the other boy coming out in his voice. He managed to pry one of Mac's hands away and hold it in his own.

Mac continued screaming. The howls ripping from the bottom of his soul.

"Come on Mac. You can do it. Come back. Bobby and Ennis are here for you too." Bobby clasped his shoulder tighter, giving more him more strength. Ennis nodded his encouragement.

"We're all here for you. We love you and we need you with us. Come on back now baby. I love you. I Love you. I love you so much."

He leaned down and kissed the top of Mac's bloody hand which was clasped in his own.

"Come back." he whispered near where Mac's ear was hidden under his arm. "Come on honey."

Mac became aware there were more people around him. He heard voices coming from far away. He flinched away, then felt a hand at his shoulder. Someone was behind him.

He was being attacked again!

Not again!

He pulled himself even tighter. The screams he could hear got even louder. He screamed along with them.

The he felt someone else near. This time there was a blessedly kind voice. A voice he associated with something good.

"Mac. Hey Mac Mac."

He felt a gentle loving touch on one of his hands.

"Mac Mac. Come back. I need you. I really need you. I love you..."

Hearing that, Mac turned to the voice. Felt himself being drawn nearer to it. To the love and sincerity he heard there. He moved closer to it through the screaming.

He felt a warm hand wrap itself around one of his own. Someone had reached into the pit to help him. He couldn't tell for sure through the screaming. He couldn't speak because of the screams. They just kept getting in the way.

"Come back. Bobby and Ennis are here for you too. We're all here for you. We love you and we need you with us..."

"Jackson?" Was Jackson here. Bobby and Ennis too? He tried to call out again but still couldn't make any noise around the screaming.

Then he felt it. Someone kissed the back of his hand. Tenderly. Lovingly. Jackson was here! He had come for him through all the pain and shame. He was here!

It was like the trap door was heaved aside and Mac could see the sun again. He began to rise towards the light and the sound of that wonderful voice.

"Come back honey. Come back to me."

Jackson kissed Mac's hand again. Then he felt pressure against his own hand. Mac was squeezing back. He knew Jackson was there.

"Come on baby boy. That's it. Come back to me. I'm here."

The screaming started to decrease in volume and hysteria, subsiding to sobs.

Bobby put his other arm around Jackson and hugged him tight.

"Jackson, he's coming back. He's back"

Jackson could only nod. He was too choked up to do more than whisper Mac's name over and over again.

Mac's arms slowly relaxed as the sobbing calmed to quiet crying. He was panting and was lathered in sweat which was mingling with the blood. He clung to Jackson's hand as if it was a life line. He opened his eyes and became aware of his surroundings. He sought out Jackson. Focusing on him, he began to sob quietly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

Jackson picked him up and pulled him into his arms so that he was holding him from behind. He folded himself protectively around Mac and cradled him lovingly.

"S'ok Mac baby. S'ok. I'm here. I love you baby."

Mac calmed under the comfort of Jackson's voice and touch.

"Hey Mac baby. Let Ennis look at your arms ok?."

Mac pulled his arms into his body, ashamed of any of them seeing what he had done to himself.

"I'm so sorry Jacko." he turned and looked frantically at Jackson.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself Jacko! Honest!" Tears spilled down his cheeks.

"S'ok baby. S'ok. I know. We just want to make sure your ok. S'allright. We love you, no matter what.

We'll always love you."

Mac relaxed again, this time allowing Ennis to gently take his arms. Ennis winced at the site of all the cuts and the evidence of even older ones.

"S'ok Mac. We're just going to clean up this blood a bit to see what we got here, ok?"

"Ok" Mac said tremulously.

Bobby had run some hot water in the sink with some antiseptic and found some clean gauze. He began sponging away the blood while Ennis gently held the arms steady. Mac became aware he was there.

"Oh Bobby. I'm so sorry..."

"Hey it's alright Mac. It's alright. Let me get you cleaned up ok?"

Mac nodded.

"Is that hurting?" Bobby asked gently as he continued to clean the criss cross of cuts.

Mac shook his head, but then admitted quietly that it did hurt. It hurt like hell!

Jackson continued to cradle Mac, tenderly stroking his hair. Doing whatever he could to show how much he loved him.

Carol appeared behind them.

"We've got Emmett Stevens on the phone." she said quietly. "He wants to know how deep the cuts are."

"Is that ok Mac baby?" Jackson asked gently, not wanting to force the boy into anything that might set off another episode.

"Yes" Mac said quietly.

Carol knelt down and quickly assessed the damage. She was all matronly and motherly now, having got over her initial shock.

"Mmm. Looks like you might need a few stitches honey. I'll go tell the doctor. Why don't you boys give him a sponge down while I go and talk to Emmett." She left the room quietly.

Bobby reached over and began running some water in the tub.

"We're going to give you a bath ok baby?" Jackson said to Mac gently. "I'm just going to slip your clothes off ok?"

Mac nodded to show it was ok.

Jackson and Bobby between them gently removed Mac's shirt being extra careful of his arms. Mac couldn't stand on his own, he was just too shaky. The other two boys lifted him gently and slipped his jeans and shorts off. Then with Ennis' help, they lowered him gently into the warm water in the tub.

Jackson stripped down too and climbed in to support him from behind. He and Bobby then proceeded to sponge away the mixture of sweat and blood. Mac closed his eyes and leaned his head back in the crook of Jackson's neck, relaxing under the boy's tender care. Ennis wrapped Mac's arms in clean dry gauze and towels, placing them on the sides of the tub to keep them dry. He then cleaned up the blood from the floor.

They had just lifted him out, dried him and slipped clean pants and jeans on him when Carol came back in. She smiled warmly at Mac.

"There you are. You look better already!" she exclaimed. Mac smiled sheepishly but gratefully back at her, thankful that she wasn't making a huge fuss over what he had done.

She stepped quickly over to where he was being supported between Bobby and Jackson. She pulled Mac into a hard, warm hug. His head dropped onto her shoulder.

"Thank you." he murmured gratefully.

She stepped back and cradled his face gently in her hands.

"Emmett wants the boys to take you into see him so he can check your arms. Your parents will meet you there. Ok?"

Mac started to look panicked at the mention of his parents. Carol stroked his cheeks gently with her thumbs, where tears had started running again.

"It's ok honey. They're real worried about you and want you to know they love you as much as ever. They want to there to make sure you're ok. Alright?"

Mac nodded quietly.

Carol patted his cheek lovingly.

"You're in my prayers." she said then stepped back.

"Ok boys. John is bringing Bobby's truck around to the door. Now off you go. Ennis could you drive them please?" She was in matronly mood again and was obviously concerned about the boys driving on their own.

"Yes ma'am." he answered and followed the boys out.

PHEW! Got it written. This was from personal experience so has been hard to write as it brought back some rough memories. But that made it easy to do. Just told it as I remembered it. Hope y'all like it even though it's pretty dark and rough.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N. This story is a sequel to "Jack Twist's Legacy." You really need to read that first. As with that story, some of the agricultural or other farming practices I describe might not sound right for Wyoming. Please don't flame me. I am a Kiwi writing this in New Zealand. I am hugely grateful to the good people at Google Earth. This has been an invaluable tool for researching the country around the Lightning Flat area.

Many thanks to my flatmate, Martin, who is also my beta reader.

A big heart felt thank you those who have been so kind with your reviews for "Jack Twist's Legacy". Especially to Kos - Mos607, Hussy, The Everlasting sugarquill and Saphobrazil. It has encouraged me to carry on with this sequel. I will post this one as I complete each chapter. Hopefully at least weekly.

Disclaimer. The world of "Brokeback Mountain" and the characters from there are the property of and the product of the genius of Annie Proulx. I only own my own original characters.

CHAPTER 5

Emmett had looked at Mac's arms and scowled when he saw the damage Mac had done to himself that night. The scars and scabbed cuts showed that he had been harming himself for quite some time.

Mac sat with his eyes cast resolutely down. He couldn't bring himself to meet his parents eyes and wouldn't look up at Emmett Stephens as he cleaned and checked the cuts. Several were quite deep and needed stitches. Fortunately he hadn't cut any major veins or arteries. He had lost quite a lot of blood because of the sheer number of cuts.

Once he had finished cleaning and stitching and firmly bandaged Mac's arms, Emmett sat back with a frown and looked closely at the boy. Mac still looked resolutely at a spot between his feet.

"Mac." Emmett said quietly. When he didn't answer Emmett leaned forward and gently put his hand under Mac's chin and lifted until Mac reluctantly met his eyes.

"How long has this been going on?" Emmett asked gently. Jackson who was sitting next to Mac put his arm around his shoulder to encourage him. He had insisted they all stay in the exam room with him.

Tears trickled down Mac's cheeks. He shrugged his shoulders at first, not able to form words. Then finally spoke in a quavery voice.

"I...I don't know. Maybe a coup...couple of months."

Everybody listened quietly. His mother and Jackson were both wiping away tears. Ennis sat quietly with Bobby, comforting the boy who was hurting with his friends. Mac's father quietly comforted his mother.

Emmett leaned forward again, clasping his hands together between his knees, keeping his eyes on Mac.

"Mac." he continued gently. "I want you to try to answer me honestly here. Do you know why you do this to your self?"

Mac nodded as more tears ran from his eyes, his face was quite wet now. Jackson gently dabbed at Mac's face with a tissue.

"Can you tell me why?" Emmett prompted.

"It...it...I don't kn...know how t...to p...put it... It...helps me feel better. It...takes away the other pain!" He looked earnestly at Emmett, wanting to see that the doctor understood what he was trying to say.

Emmett nodded in understanding. He understood only too well. It was the answer he expected. He put his hand out and touched Mac's knee.

"Well done son. That was a good honest answer and took guts. I understand exactly what you're talking about."

Mac looked at him gratefully He hadn't been sure if anybody would believe what he had said.

Emmett sat back in his chair and looked around at everybody to make sure they were all listening, then cleared his throat.

"Ok, first of all, I want to assure you all in case you were worried, I really don't think Mac was trying to kill himself." They all nodded, agreeing with him.

"None of us thought that for a minute!" Jackson said quietly but firmly. Again everybody indicated their agreement.

"That's good." Emmett steepled his hands as he collected his thoughts. "Mac has actually described his actions very well and I'm really pleased he was honest enough with himself, and us, to say what he did. I am very concerned though that the councilors he has been seeing since the assault haven't picked up on it."

"What has been happening here is in fact quite common, so don't think you're alone in this Mac."

The boy gave a small nod.

"It's called self harming which describes perfectly what is being done, but does little to help people understand why it's being done. We all know that Mac and Jackson have been through a huge trauma with the assault." More nods from everybody to show they were following him.

"Every body reacts to trauma differently, often depending on their well being amongst other things. Now Jackson seems to be coping better and able to begin moving on. This doesn't mean he's any better than you Mac." he quickly assured the boy. "Just his situation is different."

"Now this sort of seizure you all described when you found him was in fact nothing of the kind. It's a condition sometimes called disassociating. Basically the person in a way divorces themselves from themselves, for lack of a better way to put it. From the sounds of things you all handled the situation splendidly and did exactly the right thing, and talked him back. Mac, can you remember anything from that time? What you were thinking?"

Mac nodded, wiped away some tears and with his voice still quavering began describing the sensation of being separated from himself. He went on to describe the image of being shut in a pit by his tormentors.

Emmett waited for him to finish, then nodded his understanding.

"That's really good Mac. Really really good. I find it interesting that it wasn't just Aguirre you saw shutting you in. Very interesting indeed."

He sat forward decisively.

"Ok, that's enough for tonight. Mac I want you stay here in the hospital tonight. You've lost a lot of blood so I want you watched for at least 24 hours. Ok?"

Mac looked a little panicked and shot a nervous glance at Jackson. Emmett saw it and smiled warmly.

"Jackson can stay here with you. That's no problem." Both boys smiled their gratitude.

"Tomorrow I will arrange for a psychiatrist to come and see you. As I said I'm not too happy with the woman you've been seeing, that she didn't pick up on the self harm. I have someone in mind who has done excellent work with people in your situation. Ok?"

"Ok." Mac said quietly.

"Alright then. I've arranged a couple of beds for you boys in the ward. The nurses are actually quite excited to have their two handsome customers back with them again." The boys smiled shyly at that, remembering how the nursing staff had fussed over them while they recovered from the assault.

"Burt, Melanie. Could Bobby and Ennis stay with you tonight?"

"Of course they can." Melanie Du Champ assured them. Emmett smiled his thanks.

"Alright then. I suggest everybody get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning young man." he said giving Mac's shoulder a squeeze.

xxXXxx

Everybody went their separate ways, as Emmett Stevens suggested, after Mac and Jackson had been seen to a room.

Mac's parents had hugged his warmly and promised to come back in the morning. Bobby hugged him fiercely.

"Thank God you're ok Mac buddy. You scared me half to death!" He looked closely at his friends pale face. The dark eyes which used to be so lively, now looking lost and scared. "Me and Ennis, we love you like family. We're here for you. Ok?"

Mac nodded gratefully at him.

When Ennis, despite his gruff exterior, pulled him into a hug as well, Mac just buried his head in the cowboy's chest.

"What Bobby said is true. You and your folks and Jackson and his folks. You're like family to us. We still want you to come live out at "Brokeback" with us. We're looking forward to it. OK?"

Mac sobbed loudly once, then took a long shaky breath. He lifted his face from Ennis's chest. Despite his wet cheeks, their was once again a hint of a smile on his lips that spread to his eyes as well. He looked at Ennis and at Bobby.

"You guys..." He shook his head in frustration. "What can I say?"

"Just get better ok!" Bobby said firmly.

A nurse came bustling in to get Mac ready for bed, smiling brightly at him and Jackson.

"Ok, let's get our two handsome young men settled for the night."

"Hey Melanie. Nice to see you again." Jackson smiled at her, recognizing her from their previous time in the hospital.

With that, everybody said their good nights and left the room, leaving Jackson and Mac to get settled. Once Melanie was happy the boys had everything they needed, she got Mac settled. She gave his dressings a quick check to make sure they were ok, then gave him a pain killer and something to help him sleep.

"How about you Jackson? Anything you need?"

"No thanks Mel. I'm good." He smiled at her, then turned his attention to Mac. "You reckon he'll be ok?"

Melanie's expression warmed at the way Jackson looked at Mac. If only some guy would look at her that way.

"He should rest ok now sweetie. You call me if he needs anything." She gave Jackson's elbow an affectionate squeeze as the left the room.

Jackson went over the Mac and took his boyfriend's hand.

"You ok honey?" he asked gently. Mac looked at him with sleepy eyes, the drugs starting to take effect.

"Jacko." he whispered sleepily. "Stay with me?"

"I'm right here. Always here." Jackson said bending down and kissing Mac gently on his forehead.

Mac smiled contentedly and drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N. This story is a sequel to "Jack Twist's Legacy." You really need to read that first. As with that story, some of the agricultural or other farming practices I describe might not sound right for Wyoming. Please don't flame me. I am a Kiwi writing this in New Zealand. I am hugely grateful to the good people at Google Earth. This has been an invaluable tool for researching the country around the Lightning Flat area.

Many thanks to my flatmate, Martin, who is also my beta reader.

A big heart felt thank you those who have been so kind with your reviews for "Jack Twist's Legacy". Especially to Kos - Mos607, Hussy, The Everlasting sugarquill and Saphobrazil. It has encouraged me to carry on with this sequel. I will post this one as I complete each chapter. Hopefully at least weekly.

Disclaimer. The world of "Brokeback Mountain" and the characters from there are the property of and the product of the genius of Annie Proulx. I only own my own original characters.

Additional warning. This chapter is NC17!

CHAPTER 6

Jackson struggled awake in a state of confusion. He wasn't sure what woke him, or even where he was. Then he became aware of the smells and sounds of a hospital at night and his mind flipped again, as he flashed back to being in hospital after he and Mac were attacked.

The sound of his name being whimpered from across the gloomy hospital room brought him back to the present. He sat up and looked across to where Mac was lying on a bed nearby. Mac was curled up in a ball and whimpering. Calling out to him.

Jackson swung his feet to the floor and padded over to Mac's bed. Mac was clasping his knees with his hands and was gouging at the bare skin with his nails. Jackson bent down and took his boyfriend's hands in his to stop him hurting himself.

"Easy Mac baby. I'm here." he whispered quietly.

"Jacko. I'm so scared." the dark haired boy whispered to him in a quavery voice. "What's happening to me? Why do I feel like this? I just can't..." he started crying quietly.

Jackson climbed on the bed with him and folded him in his arms. He settled Mac's head in the crook of his shoulder while he stroked Mac's dark hair with one hand. He gently ran his other hand up and down Mac"s back.

"S'ok Mac. S'ok"

Mac nuzzled his nose through Jackson's long blond hair and up behind his ear.

"I'm scared cos I don't know when I'm going to freak out next. Or that I'm losing my marbles. Going crazy!"

"Hey Baby." Jackson reassured him quietly. "I'm here to take care of you. And your Ma and Pa, Bobby, Ennis and Mr and Mrs Twist. We'll make sure you don't go crazy."

Mac nodded against Jackson's neck. When Mac stayed quiet, Jackson carried on talking quietly.

"Now we know what's going on, we can help you. Keep an eye on you. You gotta promise me, you'll let me, or Bobby or Ennis know if you're starting to freak ok?"

Mac nodded again.

"That way we can make sure you're safe."

Another nod.

They were both quiet for a few moments. Mac moved his hand up to Jackson head and started running fingers through the long blond hair. His hand stilled with his fingers still tangled in the silky locks.

"Jackson?"

"Hm"

"How can you still love me?"

Jackson gasped in surprise at the question. He squeezed Mac a little tighter.

"How can I not love you? You're still Mackenzie Duchamp, the beautiful and loving boy who I've been in love for as long as I can remember. I would die without you!"

"But look at what I've become. I'm some kind of freak who cuts himself to ribbons and turns into a screaming monster!" Mac exclaimed bitterly.

"Doesn't make me love you any less!"

"I'm dirty! Soiled! I've been used by someone else!"

"Love you more all the time!"

Mac suddenly rolled away from Jackson savagely.

"I wanted making love to be something special for us when we started doing it. But it never can be now."

"Of course it can!"

"They've ruined it! Aguirre! Those people who put me down for being gay. All of them! They've made me ugly. I could never love you properly!" he wailed desperately.

"Mac."

"No." he whimpered.

Jackson reached out and pulled Mac gently to him.

"Mac, honey. None of them can ever make me feel any different about you. They're all just ignorant bastards who have no right making you feel like that! You to me are the most beautiful person on this whole planet."

Jackson didn't know in his head what to say to calm Mac down, so just kept speaking straight from his heart. Baring his soul to the wounded boy in his arms. Showing him he was trusted, loved, cared for.

" I know you feel like you've messed yourself up. But nothing you could ever do could make me love you any less! Nothing!"

Mac was shaking his head.

"But what they did..."

"Mac you were abused in a fucking awful way! That doesn't stop me loving you! My God! You saved my life. You have no idea how much I loved you when you went for Aguirre that night to protect me!"

Jackson's voice had become husky with emotion. Tears were quietly running down his face.

"It was knowing that you loved me enough to do that that kept me going through that night. I so wanted us both to live so that I could tell you this. You are a fucking hero Mac!"

Mac had gone quiet and still. His personal demons were still raging in his head, telling him he was worthless.

Scum!

But the sheer power of Jackson's love. His sincerity. Making himself so vulnerable. It was all working to break through the shell that Mac had become encased in. To drown out the voice of the demons.

"I know you feel like your somehow impure now and that I won't love you because of that. But I do! What was done to you was done in hate! What we will do will be done in love and it will be beautiful."

"Promise."

"Promise Baby."

Jackson turned Mac to him and lifted his chin gently. In the dim hospital night lights he could see Mac's dark eyes. Haunted, but wide with hope and yearning. Jackson smiled gently at him. He began tracing the outlines of Mac's features with his finger tips.

"I love these beautiful eyes... this nose...your beautiful smile." He dipped down and gave Mac a gentle kiss.

Mac gazed at him, lost in awe at the love in Jackson's eyes, his voice, his touch.

"I love the curve of your neck, your throat."

Jackson's finger tips gently caressed Mac's neck and throat and continued to glade across the ridge of his collar bone, then across the swell of his chest.

"I want to dwell in the plains of your chest..."

Mac sobbed and clutched Jackson to him, over come by the love that was being lavished on him. The love he had believed he could never receive.

Jackson caressed his back. His palm ghosted over Mac's shoulders ad down his spine causing the boy to shiver. The caress continued over the firm buttocks and down to the muscular legs.

"I want to lose myself in you. Make love to you. Fill you. You fill me." He rolled onto his back pulling Mac on top of him. His hands drifted up and down over the bare skin of Mac's back. Barely touching. Mac was now whimpering again, but this time in pleasure, joy!

He felt Jackson's finger tips glide over his buttocks, encased in boxer briefs, down to his legs, then back up again, this time running up through the cleft between. Instead of the fear he had expected, Mac felt only love, and need for Jackson to keep up the caresses.

Mac gasped and searched out Jackson lips, pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss. He could feel the bulk of Jackson's arousal across his lower belly and was astounded to feel himself aroused. Filled with need.

Love.

Passion.

They were both so filled with the magic of the moment that neither of them needed to move any more. They whimpered into each others mouths.

Mac was astounded to feel himself being overtaken by a mind shattering orgasm. At the same time he felt Jackson shaking with his own release. Their seed mingled between their bellies as they moaned together.

Completely lost in love.

Mac sighed as he felt Jackson's arms fold around him, holding him in the afterglow. He smiled as he realized he no longer felt dirty. He felt cleansed.

Purified.

He sighed deeply and fell into a deep peaceful sleep for the first time in many months.

Jackson heard that contented sigh and felt his love relax into peaceful slumber. His heart swelled with happiness as he too slipped into sweet dreams.

A/N Well I never intended this story to get this graphic, but it sort of needed this to happen.

Chapter 4 was from experience. This one was wishful thinking as I sort of always wanted someone to do this for me at the time. That was probably to much information! Ah well onwards and upwards. There's lots more drama to come for the "Brokeback" crew. Ma Nature is going to get nasty.

Mwahahahaha


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